Sunday, May 11, 2003

Tanner complains of her first headache in the morning and is given some Tylenol for the pain and after an hour or so is ready to enjoy her normal day.

Monday, May 12, 2003

At school today Tanner complains of headaches on and off. At night as mom rubs her head she feels a bump right at her hairline on the left side and decides to take her to the emergency room to be checked out since the headaches are continuing. They don't see anything, her eyes look good, motor skills are good, everything seems to check out well. Maybe, she bumped her head and just doesn't remember it. If the headaches continue or she starts vomiting take her into her regular doctor.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Tanner has an appointment with her doctor. He doesn't see anything, but he too says if the headaches continue or she starts vomiting bring her back in.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Tanner and family visit new baby cousin Connor and his mom and dad at the hospital.

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Tanner played a great game of T-ball and she seemed fine. Coach Joe (a member of our local fire department) takes a look at the bump on her head and said he would have a scan done just in case it was something. She has a headache in the evening.

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Tanner spent the afternoon at the pool with friends swimming and having a great time, for a long time. Later in the evening Tanner, once again, complained of a headache. Tanner's doctor is called and they are told to bring her in first thing in the morning for a CT scan.

Monday, May 19, 2003

Mommy takes Tanner to see the doctor again in the morning, a CT scan is done. It is then that mom and dad are asked to take her to UCLA Hospital so they can have a look. Upon doing another CT scan, they too see a mass. It is decided there will be more tests in the morning. Tanner, mom and dad all spend the night at UCLA Hospital.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - Surprise! Doctor Lazareth decides to do surgery instead of tests. 

It took about an hour to remove a tumor the size of a lemon from Tanner's head, and another two and a half hours to reconstruct her skull. The tumor took up most of the area that should have been used by her left frontal lobe, but the tumor did not enter the brain itself just severally compressed that area. Now that the tumor has been removed that portion of her brain should move back into place. What does Tanner say in recovery "I want Gatorade!" That is our girl. Tanner looks great and is doing wonderful in Recovery and in Pediatric I.C.U. she still wants to do it all herself.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003 - Tanner is doing great!

The swelling is really setting in and she can't see out of her left eye because of it, but is doing amazingly well being the day after surgery. She is her very independent self, wanting to feed herself and not wanting anyone to help her. One of the challenges was to get her to drink the contrast liquid needed for the full body scan. After much pleading, what a trooper, she drank it all (though it took awhile). But being the day after surgery anything today is a challenge and the CT scan was next. After some normal (day after brain surgery) 4 year-old type of fussing, she lay perfectly still and they did a full scan. What a girl! Mom did come to the rescue just in time with an orange popsicle and it was off to see her new room that was being decorated just for her. It was to become a very hard day for the family as the Oncologist on duty, very rudely and unexpectedly introduce herself and Tanner's condition to a roomful of people. Again Tanner did fine, it was the family that was having an extreme amount of difficulties, but everyone made it though.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Tanner is scheduled for more testing today, a bone scan, but she is doing wonderful and is no longer on any pain medication. She is a little impatient with everyone. We want her to lie quietly in bed; she on the other hand wants to sit up, play games and even wants to get out of bed to "just walk around". She is already tired of people fussing over her. She continues to amaze everyone and the word has it that her fight and independence will get her though. GREAT NEWS! Word was received that the CT scans came back clear.

Friday, May 23, 2003 

Tanner is scheduled for another day of tests and surgery, a bi-lateral bone marrow is being done and a central line is being inserted so she will be ready for chemo when it is scheduled to start. She was able to have some fun today because she was doing so great as always and spent part of the afternoon in the playroom. Yesterday's bone scan comes back clear.

Saturday, May 24, 2003 Grandparents come to visit and get a wonderful surprise "Tanner is going home today!" Mom, Dad and Grandma Julie first have to learn how to care for her central line and clean the area. That has become one of the most difficult parts of this for Tanner. What little one or big one for that matter wants to have big sticky bandages and tape removed from an area that is already painfully sore. But Tanner has made a new, very special friend, her name is Barb and Barb does her best to make it as painless as possible. After a lot of crying and hard work it is over and Barb stays to spend some less painful time before Tanner is off for home. Once at home, boy is there a house full of happy people! Mom makes a call to Lisa to help Tanner with a new hairdo and boy does Lisa do a great job. But bandanas are needed so they are worn not only by Tanner but by anyone else that wants to give it a try.

Sunday, May 25, 2003 - Tanner now gets to enjoy a few days at home while some much needed tests are done on her tumor. They need to make sure just what it is and how to treat it. But, in the meantime Tanner gets to enjoy her family and can play with her cousins with an adult in supervision - great after so much time in the hospital. We are all playing cards, board games and the kids are still wearing bandanas.

Monday, June 2, 2003 - Up until today Tanner have been improving each day and becoming more active and more herself as best as someone can with everyone watching. But today Tanner is taken to the hospital, she began complaining of some pain and some bumps have been felt on the back of her head. Also her forehead which was looking so good now looks flat and feels very soft. Well, good news, it is nothing to be alarmed about. The fluid that was filling the space once occupied by her tumor is being absorbed by her body and one of the spots doing that are the glands in the back of her head. For a while, until everything evens out, her forehead might look flat and feel soft. Overtime her forehead will return to normal.

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 - Tanner checks back into the hospital to have some tests and to start her first round of chemo. The tests are done, but chemo won't start until tomorrow.

Thursday, June 5, 2003 - Chemo was to start today, but now the word has it will start tomorrow.

Friday, June 6, 2003 - Tanner is now receiving her first round of chemotherapy. The chemo was started at midnight, first with a push then a one hour drip that is now being followed by a 48 hour drip. She is doing pretty well. She has had some vomiting, but is still her playful spunky self, although she is very tired and did have a difficult night. They should all be home by Sunday. Tanner can not have visitors at the hospital or at home until her doctors say it is ok.

Saturday, June 7, 2003 Second day of chem. It is starting to take its toll some and she is doing more resting today than usual.

Sunday, June 8, 2003 - Tanner came home from the hospital today. She is doing as expected; her white blood count is very low, she is very tired and is already experiencing a very sore mouth.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 - Tanner is still very tired and her blood count is very low. This leaves her very open to infection and illness, which her system would not be able to handle at this time, so she still is unable to have visitors for awhile.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - Tanner is showing her spunky personality, which her mom and dad really enjoy. Tanner had lunch in the backyard to enjoy some fresh air. She even played a little ball with mom and dad, after all a future baseball player can't go to long without some practice. One thing her dad noticed was that his right handed player has become a switch-hitter and is using her left to bat the ball from the T and was just as strong of a hitter. Of course all of this was done from behind her mask (pictures to come soon), but that wouldn't stop our Tanner.

Thursday, June 12, 2003 - Tanner has now been home from the hospital since Sunday afternoon. She is really bouncing back from her first round of chemo. She isn't sleeping as much and is playing a lot more. The home health nurse came in this morning and they should have the results of the blood work this afternoon so we will have some good news to report soon I am sure. Tanner appears to be looking and acting better.

Well, we had hoped the news about her blood count was going to be up, but that isn't the case. In fact, it has dropped to below 100. We have been told that this isn't unusual. So it is back inside for awhile longer, but we are looking for that to change real soon.

Friday, June 13, 2003 - The day started out with Tanner not feeling very well; a lot more tired than the last couple of days and complaining of her back hurting. As the day progressed her temperature began to rise and she hit 100.6, so she is headed back to the hospital. Tests were completed, chest x-rays and a CT-scan. They admitted her because she has developed an infection and needs to be put on antibiotics.

Sunday, June 15, 2003 - Tanner and Chris spend a nice Father's Day together, in the hospital, but never-the-less, together. Other than needing to receive some red blood today Tanner is doing pretty well.

Monday, June 16, 2003 - Over the weekend, Tanner's white blood count dropped below 100. Her parents were told that this isn't unusual and will happen from time to time after chemo. It did hit Tanner pretty hard and she continues to fight an infection, but the antibiotics are helping. Periodically her fever spikes and they need to cool her down. As of today her count is up to about 300 so she is doing much better, has even been playing games. She did need to receive some palettes, but again that is something that she will need to receive from time to time. It looks like she will be able to come home on Wednesday or Thursday if everything goes according to plan.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003 - Tanner came home this evening, but is beginning to think of the hospital as a home away from home and she has some of her favorite people there to care for her during her stay. Being that she is such an independent girl she helps remind people about what she can have or do and what she can't have or do, she is getting the routine down, what a trooper. Everyone is a bit on the tired side and glad to be home. A new hairdo will be needed soon now that hers has begun to fall out. But if you ask Tanner she says "NO, I don't want it cut!" To her it is sort of funny to watch it fall out and get on things. Kids, they always surprise you.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - Today is what is becoming a pretty normal day with some ups and downs. Tanner's fever went up for a bit this morning, but came back down shortly. The home health nurse will be running some tests tonight to make sure everything is progressing as it should. Tanner is enjoying being home in her own house, playing a little and watching some of her favorite movies. Well, one thing that wasn't normal was shaving Tanner's head. She still didn't want it done, but with the hair flying everywhere it was needed. The hair was flying everywhere because Tanner thought is was great fun to shake her head and see the hair fly, and here we thought it would upset her to have it fall out. New hairdo pictures will be coming soon.

Thursday, June 19, 2003 - This morning bumps were seen all over Tanner's body, so mom and dad took her in to have it checked. As it got later in the day the bumps got larger and became more like red sores. Tanner has developed a bacterial infection. Antibiotics have been started and she has to be watched very closely. GOOD NEWS! Tanner's ANC is over 3,000 so her body is able to fight off the infection with the help of antibiotics at home.

Friday, June 20, 2003 - Well it was back to see the doctors today, BUT for a second opinion at Children's hospital. Some very good news! They confirmed Tanner's diagnosis and treatment plan. Her parents were also informed that her doctor, Dr. Denne, is one of the top researchers for Ewing's Sarcoma. Children's hospital will be contacting Dr. Denne to talk about any concerns they might have. In the meantime, Tanner felt great that this time they only looked and there was no touching or sticking like doctors usually do. So for Tanner "Today is a great day!"

Monday, June 23, 2003 - Boy is she feisty today. Someone is feeling great. Now, it all depends on her ANC count, it needs to stay high so she can continue to fight off any infections and so she will be able to go in for her next chemo treatment this week.

Today is great! Zach and Madison (cousins) brought lunch over to share with Tanner. They thought they were going to have to sit on opposite sides of the glass door, but "WOW", the nurse was in this morning and they got to enjoy lunch outside on the patio. After lunch they played some ball, rode the scooter and Mom even squirted them with the hose. What a great day!

In Mom and Dad's spare time - They are trying to get everything ready for HOPE. Mom and Hope are doing pretty good and if everything goes according to plan HOPE will be here this time next month.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - Wonderful news all around today. Tanner's ANC count is over "1,600" WOW. She is doing great and excited. That means no shot last night or today. How happy do you think "SHE" was over that one! It also means that if she keeps this up she will be able to keep her date with Mr. Chemo on Thursday. Rattler's has given us some great news as well, well nothing compared to Tanner's, but nice, they have increase their percentage of donation to Tanner.

Thursday, June 26, 2003 - Well, today is the day for Tanner's second round of Chemo. This time she doesn't go in until her bed is ready, so they will be leaving after lunch. Tanner is such a trooper! When I talked to her today she said "I am going back to UCLA today and I am going to be there for a while, a few days." Not scared or afraid just matter of fact. What a girl! She will actually be there for 5 days of chemo and a sixth day for fluid, which means that she will be there until about July 2nd or 3rd if all goes according to plan. This second round is a different set of medications than she received the first time so it will all depend on how her body reacts to them.

Friday, June 27, 2003 - Day #1 of chemo is down. The two new medications are each given in a one hour drip so each day's treatment takes two hours, each day will begin 22 hours after the last treatment. Everything has gone pretty good but by about 5 this morning the pains in her legs got increasingly worst so they needed to put her on morphine to give her some relief.

Tanner has a roommate this time, her name is Tatum. Tatum is 15 and is also in for chemo. It is nice for Tanner to have a new friend and someone else that has the same line in her chest that Tanner has and is also getting the same type of treatment. Not to mention, who wouldn't want someone to talk to, joke with and let's face it - for Tanner to tease and torment. "Tatum, you better watch out!"

Monday, June 30, 2003 - Well, this round of chemo is almost over. Tanner should be coming home tomorrow early afternoon. So far everything is going great. She is back on steroids, so she can get a little punchy. But other than that Tanner's mood and spirits are always amazing. Except for losing her hair and visiting her in the hospital you don't see too much change in our special Angel.

At 4, she is as smart as they come and even has her own diet down pretty good. There were sliced tomatoes on her sandwich yesterday. "I can't have tomatoes now because of the skin, Grammie." she said as she started picking all the tomatoes off. And you all know how she loves tomatoes!

Her ANC (blood) count is dropping, which is what it is suppose to do, so things are working. But of course that means she is open for nasty GERMS and the littlest one can send her back to the hospital. Let's pray that she can get through this one without another infection, not only for her, but for mommy and baby Hope, too. Mommy and Hope need to get some rest for the next couple of weeks so Hope can be big and sassy for her arrival date.

Tuesday, July 1, 2003 -Today is the day - Tanner is coming home!

Tanner is doing pretty well for a little girl that has completed so much in just 6 weeks! That is right - it was just 6 weeks ago that the tumor in her head was found and removed. Tanner is handling it far better than anyone could have imagined, first the surgery and now the completion of her second round of chemo. Though it all she keeps us laughing, playing and so thankful for all of you!

No news yet as to her blood count or what to expect on this series of medications once she is at home, but it seems as if everything is going the way they should. Mom is looking forward to some rest once they get home.

Tuesday, July 3, 2003 - Tanner is doing GREAT! The nurse was in this morning so there should be some news on her blood count soon. Mom and dad where told that the 5 day round would not hit her as soon as the as the 3 day round, but it will come. Right now Tanner has so much energy that she isn't sleeping a whole lot (wow, and mom and baby Hope do need some rest), so it is late nights and early morning. What a time not to be able to play with your friends.

Monday, July 7, 2003 - Tanner went back into the hospital yesterday morning with a fever of 103. Because the fever was so high she was taken to Henry Mayo Hospital's emergency room.

Boy, what a surprise dad and mom got! Dr. Hook walked into the room and said "So, you're Tanner! I have been eating your cookies all week." Who knew that Cookies for Tanner were being sold there at the hospital. How nice for Tanner, mom and dad that Tanner was already known to the some of the staff there.

Dr. Hook did all Tanner's workup, had her x-rays done and got her started on antibiotics. Then it was off to UCLA by ambulance. It was noted that her ANC count was below 90, so with the new infection she will be at the hospital for 3 to 5 days.

Tanner did get to enjoy some of the 4th of July weekend!

Friday, she had a short bar-b-que lunch at her Great Aunt's and then later in the evening went with dad and mom to see the fireworks. Dad put chairs in the back of the truck and found a local hillside and where they could sit in the back to watch the display.

Saturday, it was outside to enjoy some bike riding along the path at Ventura beach. Boy, does she have the routine down; stay away from people especially children and only outside activities (no confined germs). Hard thing for a little girl that wants to run and play. But, Tanner was so excited to be able to be out enjoying some fresh air and sunshine and a little bit of fun she didn't mind, to much. What a real pro she is at wearing her mask when she is out of her own environment, especially since Grandma Julie made her some great ones that actually fit that beautiful little face. Scooby Doooooo!

Tuesday, July 8, 2003 - Tanner is still pretty much the same as yesterday; her fever is still spiking to 103 (they can't seem to keep it down), she is still running to the bathroom continually and her count is still below 100. Well, one thing to remember - the chemo is doing its job. So, for that we can be very thankful. The doctors said that each person handles the chemo very differently, this just might be the way Tanner's body is going to cope with it; running fevers and being pretty sick for a week in-between treatments. Hopefully, tomorrow I will have better news to report.

Wednesday, July 9, 2003 - Tanner is doing some better today. Yea! The fevers stopped late yesterday afternoon and she hasn't had another one since. She is still spending a lot of time in the bathroom, but that too seems to be easing up some. Tanner did have to receive more blood yesterday, her white blood count was next to nothing - so low they were unable to even get an ANC count. No news as of yet what her count is today, they don't get the answer usually until late in the day. Tanner and family won't be able to come home until her count is at least 500, but remember it goes down fast and can return just as fast as well. By the sound of Tanner on the phone our little energizer bunny is getting recharged.

They had thought there was going to be another room change "no way - dad and mom weren't having it, Tanner NEEDS to stay in the children's oncology section," besides Barb works there, and we all know how Tanner needs her favorite nurse to make the painful stuff not so painful. SPECIAL THANKS TO YOU BARB!

Thursday, July 10, 2003 - Tanner is doing much much better today. They had discovered the type of infection she developed so now they can fight it more effectively. More good news! Her ANC count has gone from a figure that was undeterminable to 7,100 - fantastic! It went up so fast that they had thought it was an error yesterday at 3,200 so she was retested in the middle of the night. What does all of this mean? SHE GETS TO COME HOME! Today, right now (noon) Auntie is on her way to pick them up while Dad is getting everything ready. Tanner will have to remain on IV antibiotics for a couple more days, but the home health nurse can take care of that. ----Thanks so much for your prayers; they can change everything from one day to the next!

Wow, was it nice to see Tanner being able to play with a friend. Nikki and Victoria were visiting Tanner - they were all coloring. She didn't want to talk or even say hi, just color with her friends. It was Victoria that made dinner "Mac and Cheese" of course one of Tanner's favorites, all enjoyed a bowl. What a great day for Tanner!

Friday, July 11, 2003 - Boy was Tanner happy to come home yesterday! AND even happier that the doctors said her ANC count was high enough to have a friend over to play with for a little while, well as long as they were feeling great. Tanner has said she is very tired of just playing with mommy and daddy.

Tanner is still fighting infections, but they have set her up to have her antibiotics by IV at home. So, every 8 hours she puts on what looks like a backpack (portable IV machine) and mom or dad hook her up for an hour. Knowing Tanner she will set up a routine to follow. Tanner, being a very routine oriented little girl, has a procedure for everything. For example, at night there is a set routine of medications she needs. Tanner makes it a set pattern. First mouth cleaning (which has to be done in just the right way), the pills each taken in the proper order (Tanner's order not the doctors), the mouth medication and the SHOT. After Tanner selects the spot for her shot, Dad (and only Dad) cleans the area, Mom holds the bandage in just the right way and place, Tanner checks to see that Dad has just the right amount and when Tanner says ok, Dad gives her the shot. Tanner is in charge of her care and knows what she must do and when. Pretty good for only being 4!

Tanner is a real live wire when her counts are high and with no one to play with her besides mom and dad she is driving mom and dad, well you can guess, someone is going a bit crazy at times.

Monday, July 14, 2003 - What a weekend, one filled with some fun and activities instead of a hospital bed. Tanner's ANC count stayed high over the weekend and is doing great!

Friday night - Zach was over to spend some fun play time; riding bikes around the block, playing games and just had some great ordinary, regular kid time. Then came the nighttime routine. Tanner wanted to show Zach what she now has to do every night - including the SHOT! Even though there is a lot of crying sometimes she does great and she likes to show everyone all the new stuff she does and how good she does it. What an exciting night for Tanner.

Saturday - It was off to Emma's, WOW, can you believe it! Emma's mom had a bar-b-que in the backyard and it was a great time to play outside and just have a normal day. That includes sticky red popsicles - great mess, and all the rest of the stuff two 4 year-olds girls do to have fun (check out the pictures). Tanner is always changing her hairdo - check this one out!

Sunday - A real special day, Kaitlyn and Aunt Erin came to visit from San Diego. Tanner is doing so well and Kaitlyn has a few days off so she is STAYING TO PLAY!!! What fun for everyone; Kaitlyn who has been missing Tanner and Tanner who has been missing Kaitlyn. Mom and Dad can work on getting everything ready for Hope and to make the next trip back for round #3 of chemo. Let's pray that her ANC count stays high enough for chemo, but also high enough Tanner can have a few good days before heading back to start everything all over again.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - Well, what can you say when a little 4 year-old is getting to just be a 4 year-old and enjoy the day like any other day and just run around and play, enjoy going to the park, playing T-Ball with a friend or two, ride her bike and play catch. Just a normal day that you don't think to much about. Well, except when that isn't a normal day.

Tanner is having pretty close to just that, a normal day. Her IV antibiotics are complete, her ANC count is still high, she isn't feeling sick and she is able to play with a couple of friends! WOW! What a wonderful day! Thanks Derek, Petey, Nikki and all the rest of her friends that have helped make this anything but a normal day for Tanner.

Tanner is still on all her *normal* daily medications, including the nightly shots, and routine. Let's hope that her counts will stay high enough that the shot can stop for a day or two as well AND even more importantly she will be able to start round #3 of her chemo.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - Tanner is doing wonderful! Her ANC count, as of yesterday, was over 31,000 - that's right over 31,000. It only needs to be over 10,000 for her not to have her shot every night so since Monday she has been able to skip that part of her routine. As you can all imagine she is really enjoying her days "NO SHOT".

Tanner's next round of chemo will start tomorrow, July 17, 2003. They will get a call sometime in the morning to let them know when a bed will be ready and then they will be heading off to the hospital to get it started. If all goes according to plan they should be coming home sometime on Sunday.

If was so wonderful to play and spend time with Tanner, this evening. She played fun little make-believe games of selling tickets, going on pony rides, singing and giggling. She has even developed a new pitch - a spit ball. It was great, the spit ball along with the wind-up was something to see, but the best part of all was the giggling. You can tell she wasn't at all afraid of going back into the hospital in the morning.

Thursday, July 17, 2003 - Tanner is back in the hospital (as of 11:30 this morning) to start round #3 of approximately 18. After last night it is evident that Tanner isn't apprehensive about going back in at all. Her evening was spend giggling and having a lot of fun.

 Today will be spent pretty much waiting and getting ready for everything to start. Tanner had been given a little purse with some treat money in it, so that is the first order of business; stop at the gift store for a little treat and she always likes to get something for BARB. It is a great thing to look forward to once she arrives. Then it is off to get settled in her room and get everything organized, while the doctors and nurses do the same. Once the medications are ordered it will be a while before everything gets started. What seems to be the normal course of action is that the chemo will actually start anywhere from 8 to 11 in the evening.

Friday, July 18, 2003 -Round #3 is well on its way. All odd numbered treatments are going to be the same; the first medication given in a push directly into her line, followed in about an hour by the second medication given in a one hour drip and the third medication about a half hour later in a drip that will last 48 hours. Along with all the medications being dripped into her system there is also fluid drips that will be continued the whole time to help her system flush the chemo. This round does cause her to get pretty sick at the beginning and then it does ease off some before it picks up again so, there are ups and downs to this round. Tanner is given other medications to help with all the side affects and to help her get some sleep.

Thanks for all the wonderful prayers, "BARB is on for the full treatment this time". This is wonderful for all of the family because, "It just doesn't hurt so much with BARB." is how Tanner put it.

Tanner is doing better as of this writing and the playroom nurse has brought in some great STUFF; glue, paper, well you get the idea. Of course the first thing Tanner made was a necklace for BARB - what a great way to say thanks for being with me.

Let's pray Tanner gets though this round well and her ANC count goes back up for Hope's arrival!

Friday, July 18, 2003 correction: Total number of treatments are 14. I had said 18. So round #3 is down there are only 11 more to go.

Monday, July 21, 2003 - Round #3 is over and there is no stopping our girl. The first several hours were pretty hard on Tanner, but once she got past those she was back to herself. So far there is no stopping her energy level, except when her counts take a hard and fast dive. Things went well on Saturday. BARB was wearing The Necklace Tanner made for her and is it beautiful, wouldn't you know it, BARB wears it every day. Tanner can push the call button and BARB comes in, talks to Tanner not just mom and dad. It was great to watch them together and to see how much BARB makes the stay as enjoyable as it can be for both Tanner and her parents. Things went so well in fact that they let them all come home if they wanted once the treatment was complete (which was in the middle of the night - can you guess? They came home.) Tanner's counts as of leaving the hospital were 21,000.

The only down side to Saturday was the news that they will be starting radiation. They have to have a meeting about it and all that it entails. But, it should be starting in a few weeks. As soon as there are more details I will let you know.

Sunday was a nice day for all and because Tanner's counts were so high Kaitlyn was able to come and spend some more time, which is great for everyone; Tanner had someone closer to her age (and that she loves) to play with, and mom had some free time to work on getting things ready for HOPE. Tanner is sure improving her nightly medication routine and is now racing to get some things done. As of last night she, even at 4, could see why something's are so important.

The health care nurse was in this morning, so tomorrow we should have some news as to her counts and general condition. Tanner and her parents are being very confident and have a positive attitude and with lots of prayers they won't be going back to the hospital until the next round of chemo is schedule.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - Things are going as expected. The results from Monday's counts were 29,000 - great! There is still the positive attitude that things are going to move right along until the next chemo round. As of today, Tanner isn't feeling real well. Her legs and back are hurting and she isn't in the happy bouncy mood. Not all days are good on the chemo roller coaster for our sweet angel. With Tanner's personality she does make the best of things and really helps the rest of us with her great attitude and smiles. Because of her counts she didn't need her shot Monday and Tuesday, but now with her not feeling good she will be receiving one tonight and it will continue until they are told to stop them again.

Thursday, July 24, 2003 -
NEWS FLASH: SHE HAS ARRIVED!

Hope Taylor Lusk made her entrance into this world today at 12:54pm. She weighs 6 lbs and 15 oz and is 19" long. Momma and baby are both doing great. So far, she's the perfect baby! Tanner did manage to get to hear her cry just a little and decided that she sounds like a rat! And, we have good indication already that she will be a thumb sucker!

We'll get photos posted as soon as possible.

WELCOME TO OUR LIVES, HOPE! We're glad you're finally here.

Monday, July 28, 2003 - Well, what a last few days! As of Thursday night Tanner's count was 1,600 but it is obvious that it has gone down considerably over the last few days. Tanner hasn't been feeling good on and off since Wednesday. Her temperature is being watched closely and frequently. She is experiencing the leg and back pains, but we are hoping that she won't drop low enough to have to return to the hospital.

Tanner was able to go to the hospital with Daddy to pick up Mommy and Hope. Mar rode along to wait in the car with Tanner. Boy was Tanner excited to see her sister. Tanner did say she has woke her up at night, but she gets to help feed her and change her and most importantly hold her. They are having a great time together.

Wow, is Tanner getting a break from the hospital. Let's pray she gets to stay home until the next round of chemo, what a treat that would be for the whole family.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 - Wow, thanks for all the prayers! It looks like Tanner made it this time WITHOUT having to go back to the hospital. The weekend was a real low time for her, but as of Monday night her ANC was 672. We won't know for sure until her tests tomorrow, but it looks like she is on her way back up.

Tanner has been having some trouble eating lately due to her mouth sores, which have gotten considerably worse, so finding something that sounds good, tastes good and doesn't hurt is a very difficult thing. Her fever had been raising but they were able to manage it all at home this time and keep her from getting another infection. For the family as a whole it has been much better not feeling good at home than having to go to the hospital for another stay. This also gives Tanner some time to enjoy little HOPE and help with the feeding and holding when she felt up to it.

Thursday, July 31, 2003 - Day number 12! How exciting this is the longest, by far, that Tanner has gone without being back in the hospital, 12 days! Mom and Dad should have the results of her new counts this evening, so there will be wonderful news tomorrow, I am sure. It would be nice if Tanner could spend some of this time playing with a friend or two, but she is getting some precious time with little sister HOPE.

Friday, August 1, 2003 - Way to go Tanner!!! ANC count at 20,000, what a terrific fighter you are.

Yes, that is right her ANC count is at 20,000. Her palettes and hemoglobin are low so she will need a transfusion when she goes back in on the 7th. But with her counts up she should get a very special treat this weekend if all goes well. Her diet needs to be adjusted some, but it seems Tanner is pretty much taking care of that too. Our girl that asks for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without peanut butter is now eating peanut butter almost daily.

Monday, August 4, 2003 - Wow, what an exciting weekend for Tanner, our little star celebrity.

On Friday, with her numbers so high, she got to have a play date. Boy, had she been missing that. Emma and Zach were over for some fun, good old fashion kid stuff.

Saturday it was off to take advantage of a very special invitation by the Anaheim Angels. Tanner thought she was invited to play in the game, but playing catch with David Eckstein and actually being on the field was just as good. A lot of pictures were taken by mom and dad and the Angels. Tanner received an autographed ball and David said she had a real good arm for such a little girl. Dad also received the ball he caught from a wild hit, during practice, which would have hit Tanner.

Sunday the fun continues, NURSE BARB came for a visit. Wow, so much fun; lunch, an outing to the park, bar-b-que dinner and movies. Tanner had a great time and a very fun weekend.

Wednesday, August 6, 2003 - 22 days! She has made it 22 days from one hospital stay to the next. Tanner is just a marvel. As witnessed last night, she is funny, happy, playing jokes on everyone and helping with HOPE. She is doing a lot of the things a little 4 year-old would do, including making a special spaghetti dinner, last night, for mom and dad. She is anything but normal when it comes to a chemo patient; her energy is very high and talks about going back to the hospital as if it was just a visit to see all her favorite doctors and nurses. Thanks, NURSE BARB and staff.

As of Monday, Tanner's ANC count was 2,092, it is dropping fast. Her count needs to stay above 1,000 for her to be able to have her next chemo treatment. Her red blood count and hemoglobin are still pretty low, but we will see. Things with Tanner change from day to day and even from hour to hour. If everything goes according to plan, Tanner and her parent will wait to get the call that her bed is ready and then it will be off for a 5 day stay. It is HOPE's first trip to the hospital with her big sister.

Thursday, August 14, 2003 - Well, it is time to celebrate!!! The results of Tanner's tests are in, all are clean. The results of the scans are good, very good. They don't see any new growths in her lungs or anywhere else.

Tanner's doctors will be participating in a Ewings' Sarcoma meeting next week and will be presenting her case. Upon their return they will be meeting with Mom and Dad to discuss the findings and the plans for continued treatments.

Tanner has completed her 4th round of chemo and is home and doing well. Her blood count has been dropping as is normal in her case.

Friday, August 22, 2003 -Wow! Tanner is a wonder! She made it though this period without having to return to the hospital. Her ANC count is climbing! At this point it is up to 3,900. Her red blood is down so she did need a transfusion. Tanner is happy to be able to spend some time and even be able to plan some play dates, as she calls them, to see her friends and family.

August 27, 2003 - Tanner is very excited to be having a play date today with a couple of her friends. It is the one thing she misses most, to be able to play outside and with other kids (grown-ups just aren't the same she says).

Boy is she a pro at her medications and routine. She is even out-doing herself in the time it takes to go though her routine. She did everything so fast and good she couldn't believe she was all done.

Tanner is doing pretty good, but her ANC count isn't bouncing back as fast this time. Chemo Round #5 (of 14) will not be taking place on August 28, 2003. Tanner's ANC count needs to be up to 10,000 and so far is only about 4,000. Once the new results are obtained today, they will have a better idea on when it might take place.

Radiation should start the first week in September and will last for approximately 4 weeks for approximately 20 treatments.

September 4, 2003 - Tanner's counts came back high enough that she was able to check into UCLA for chemo round #5 today. She is spending the first part of the day having some tests and later the chemo will be started.

Tanner had a fun day yesterday as she and a friend were invited to spend the day at a private home/fun park in Sand Canyon. One of her fun experiences included fishing, boy was that great fun.

A special thanks to those that provided the special fun for Tanner and her friend.

To top off her day she did some wonderful cookie decorating as a fun thank you for her to deliver to her nurses at UCLA. Tanner and Nic had very interesting and creative designs for them to enjoy.

September 8, 2003 - Today is the first day for Tanner's radiation treatments. Each weekday at 1:40 pm Tanner will go to UCLA for her treatments. Every weekday for 4 weeks. She will be traveling each day except during her chemo treatment.

Tanner came home from her last chemo round very late Saturday night. Everything went according to schedule. As of Sunday morning she wasn't feeling well, leg and back pain had already set in and her ANC count is falling.

September 9, 2003 - Day #2 of radiation down, only 18 treatments left. Tanner did outstanding yesterday mom said. Zachary and Auntie went along for the ride and to help with distraction I am sure. What a way to make it a special day for them both. Today it was over to "BARB's" house to spend the morning, what a special treat for radiation day number 2, then off for her treatment.

As of last night Tanner's ANC count was a little over 5,000 and is continuing to fall. The radiation will continue each day even on the days that Tanner is real sick from chemo.

September 12, 2003 - Well the first week of radiation is done and behind her and boy she did a FANTASTIC JOB! She said she wants to do them ALL without crying, that's our Sweetness. As of today, she is tired and took a long nap after she got home.

As of Thursday's blood work Tanner's counts continue to drop, as is expected, her ANC count was down to 1,000 and will continue to drop for a few more days

September 15, 2003: - Well, Tanner has made a great start into her second week of radiation. The goal she has set for herself; to complete each treatment with no crying. What a goal for a 4 year-old to strive for, but then that's our Tanner.

Tanner did make it though a very low weekend, but not low enough to have to make the trip back to the hospital. Her count is on the way back up, but we won't know the count until the nurse comes in sometime tomorrow.

September 16, 2003 - Tanner is well into week #2 of radiation and is doing an excellent job at the goal she has set for herself. Her ANC is 350 so it is coming back up.

Remember each weekday at 1:40 pm Tanner will go to UCLA for her treatments. Every weekday for 4 weeks with only 3 weeks left - but she still needs your prayers. She will be traveling each day except during her chemo treatment.

A very special Thank you to everyone on the dinner and delivery teams for making this time of radiation a little bit easier for the family. The Tannerville family of support is wonderful.

September 22, 2003 - The first day of radiation week number 3. Tanner is doing just as she had planned, making it though everyday with NO Crying. The radiation is leaving her more tired than usual and so far that is the only thing we see. As of the end of last week her ANC count was up to 11,000 so boy was Tanner excited, she can go outside, have fun and some play dates. It is her own special reward for all the low count days when she has to stay inside and away from her friends. Her counts are on their way down but it looks like they will be high enough for Tanner to be back for her chemo on Thursday.

September 25, 2003: - Well she made it; Tanner's counts are high enough that she will be able to have chemo round #6. She is in the hospital now and will have her radiation treatments while she is there today, Friday and Monday. This is her 5 day round this time so she won't be coming home until after radiation on Monday. Tanner has had a good week with her count staying high enough for her to play outside and to have some play dates this week so she has been very happy and excited.

Tanner's radiation will continue after she returns from the hospital next week, but it will be her last week. Remember each weekday at 1:40 pm Tanner will go to UCLA for her treatments. Every weekday for 4 weeks with only 2 days and 1 week left - but she still needs your prayers. She will be traveling each day except during her chemo treatment.

A very special Thank you to everyone on the dinner and delivery teams for making this time of radiation a little bit easier for the family. The Tannerville family of support is wonderful.

September 25, 2003 - Well she made it, Tanner's counts are high enough that she will be able to have chemo round #6. She is in the hospital now and will have her radiation treatments while she is there today, Friday and Monday. This is her 5 day round this time so she won't be coming home until after radiation on Monday. Tanner has had a good week with her count staying high enough for her to play outside and to have some play dates this week so she has been very happy and excited.

Tanner's radiation will continue after she returns from the hospital next week, but it will be her last week. Remember each weekday at 1:40 pm Tanner will go to UCLA for her treatments. Every weekday for 4 weeks with only 2 days and 1 week left - but she still needs your prayers. She will be traveling each day except during her chemo treatment.

A very special Thank you to everyone on the dinner and delivery teams for making this time of radiation a little bit easier for the family. The Tannerville family of support is wonderful.

Monday, October 6, 2003 - Tanner has completed all her radiation treatments and boy was she happy to get that over with. She made bracelets for a friend in the waiting room and those that helped with the treatments. In 6 weeks Tanner will have complete body scans and an MRI to see just how successful the radiation and chemo treatments have been so far.

In the meantime, Tanner has been having some great fun thanks to the Michael Hoefflin Foundation and the College of the Canyon. Tanner' name was submitted to the college for make a wish. Tanner was given the opportunity to pick out a large item from a toy store book; she picked an air hockey table. Air hockey is her favorite at Mountaisa and now she can play it in her own family room. Great fun when she has to stay in so much.

We want to give special thanks to the Michael Hoefflin Foundation for all you have done for Tanner and her family. You have been there from the beginning to help in so many areas of support.

A very special "Thank You" to everyone on the dinner and delivery teams for making the days of radiation a little easier for the family. The Tannerville family of support is FANTASTIC!

Thursday, October 16, 2003 - Tanner is doing wonderfully and is she excited about this round of chemo. Her ANC count is high enough that she is heading back to the hospital this morning for chemo round #7, her excitement is because this time she will be leaving as early as Friday afternoon or evening depending how sick it will leave her. Due to Tanner's radiation treatments she will only be getting 2 of the 3 medications she would normally get on this round. The third medication causes too many side effects following this close after radiation. Tanner received platelets on Friday and boy does that make her feel better since her body is not able to make enough on her own anymore.

Tanner has been able to have a bit of fun in the last few days. The doctors gave permission for her to go to the Wild Animal Park - wow, what great fun. She also got to have a couple of play dates and for Tanner not much is better than that, one little one getting to play with another.

One of the many side effects that Tanner is experiencing is light sensitivity. It has become necessary to keep the blinds drawn a lot of the time and sunglasses are almost always needed outside.  And of course with our little tom-boy only dad's will do.

Another side effect is Tanner's need for blood and platelets have greatly increased, as well as how easily she will bleed if she would even stub her toe. Up to this point the very generous monthly donations of one outstanding person has kept Tanner with a ready supply. Due to her increase in demand that is no-longer possible. Your help is greatly needed.

Thursday, October 22, 2003 - Monday, Tanner started school !!!!!She is so excited to be going to school like her friends. Her school is a little different from her friends, but like others that she knows; Home Schooling. One hour a day her teacher comes in and spends time with her and gives her HOMEWORK which she is very excited about and she can do with mom and dad. A simple little thing that most parents and children take for granted bring the greatest joy to the children and then of course their parents. Tanner is so happy, she is learning to READ!

She has had a lot more down time since this last round of chemo which was pretty ruff on her due to just coming off of radiation. But, she is slowly coming back. Tanner's blood was on a false high and they should have some numbers soon regarding her ANC and other blood counts.

Thursday, November 6th (if her numbers are high enough) it is back to UCLA for chemo round #8 of 14 - she is now in her second half of treatment!!!!!  

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE ASKED  "WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?"

Tanner and her roommate desperately need blood and blood products. Not only Tanner but many many babies and children are fighting this battle and the one thing they all need so desperately is blood and blood products. There are so many of you that ask, "What can we do, just let us know, anything." There is something YOU CAN do to help not only Tanner but all those babies that so desperately need it - YOU CAN GIVE THE BLOOD OF LIFE. Like Tanner, there are a lot of children that have gotten to the point that one direct donor can no longer supply enough blood to handle their demand. As their treatments progress their little bodies can not produce enough for themselves, they need your help. And, it is YOUR help that is greatly needed. It may be a little inconvenient for some of you because the children at UCLA get theirs directly from the UCLA blood bank. The blood donated at the American Red Cross or other areas is NOT shipped to UCLA. For those of you wanting to help Tanner, and the many other children who need it, please contact:

 JAIME RIVAS, PLATELET COORDINATOR, UCLA BLOOD & PLATELET CENTER, 310-206-6187 or JRIVAS@UCLA.EDU

A SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO CAN HELP SO MANY CHILDREN THAT DEPEND ON US.    THANKS!

Friday, November 7, 2003 - Her Sweetness is back in the hospital for chemo round #8. What a great surprise for today, Tanner isn't sick! Usually she gets sick after the start of chemo, but not this time. What a great day! At 1:00 pm Tanner will be having a Brain MRI, which she will have to be completely sedated for, and CT scan of her chest. We will share the results just as soon as they come in.

Tanner is feeling pretty good after being able to have some great fun, which is wonderful to see her get when her numbers are up. First, thanks to the Arkland House, Tanner received a special invitation to bring some of her friends and enjoy all the fun activities they have to offer. And boy did they all have fun playing the whole afternoon.

Special thanks to you Arklin Family for giving Tanner and her friends so much fun, they are still laughing and talking about it!

Tanner is a surprising little girl all bubbles and sunshine. Does it surprise anyone, I am sure not anyone that knows Her Sweetness - she now flushes her own lines! But then, of course, uses the syringes as water guns to soak you when you aren't looking. What an amazing girl to find fun in all things.

UCLA should be warned on this visit; Tanner is ready for some fun. She isn't walking in empty-handed - She has Silly String!!!! Cans and cans of it, in all colors. Well, she is down a couple of cans. The night before entering the hospital, while dad was eating dinner after a long long day, Tanner, in her usual manner of sneaking around to find some trick to play, got behind her dad and then that was that - he was covered with green. Do you think dad would let that go un-noticed, of course not! It wasn't long before Tanner and the kitchen floor was covered with pink. And Mommy and Hope, well you guessed it, they went running for cover.

Only 6 chemo treatments left!

Tuesday, November 11, 2003:  Tomorrow is going to be a great day for all!  Be looking for a few surprises today and tomorrow!

This is a day for two updates:

10:30 update: It looks like our scare is over. Tanner is doing much better, her fever is gone and she was able to receive her blood transfusion. Mom is now packing to get ready to come home. The problem with the line turned out to be on the surface level and all has been taken care of. Things change so fast from good to bad and then also from bad to good.

*****The results of the chest and pelvic CT Scan are clear!

The brain MRI looks pretty good. There is one area that they want to keep an eye on, at this time it looks like it might be scar tissue - it does not look like new cancer growth, but they do want to watch it closely. Tanner to have another MRI in 3 months to verify all is fine in that area.

7am update: It doesn't look like Tanner is going to be able to come home today. We were hoping that she would be home for her Birthday tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to my Sweet Angel!!!!

5 years-old tomorrow, boy are you growing up!

Tanner developed a fever yesterday and it appears it might be from an infection at the site of her lines (the tube that was inserted into her chest to deliver the chemo). They will be doing another chest CT scan and x-ray to see what the interior portion of the line looks like. They will be putting her on something for the infection and monitoring her closely while they try to find the source.

Tanner was going to receive another blood transfusion last night but that now has to be put on hold. They don't want the new blood to mask the infection.

Your prayers are greatly needed for Tanner and for the children that share the same pain.

***Wednesday, November 12, 2003 (a red letter day)

Happy Birthday Tanner!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - Tanner seemed to have a pretty good day on Wednesday, November 12th, she turned 5. What a wonderful day it was for all of us. Tanner was able to receive a few visitors for that special day. She even got some of the things she was asking for some boy toys.

She has been down pretty much this last week, doing a lot of resting and movie watching on the couch. But she is well enough to be at home with mom, dad and Hope and that's the best. Tanner's ANC count was at 96 as of Monday and her platelet count was at 24 so, she did have to have a platelet transfusion today. The mouth sores have gotten pretty bad, but since what she seems to want to eat is pancakes it helps that they are so soft.

School is going along pretty good, she has only had to miss one day this last week.

Friday, November 21, 2003 - Well, Her Sweetness is doing better, her ANC count is now up to 2,400, which is wonderful! It means she is feeling better, up to doing more than staying at home and in the house and is very excited. Tanner knows about her counts and what she can do when they are up. It isn't unusual to hear, "My counts are up, let's have some fun!" Hopefully, she will even be able to have a play date or two before returning to the hospital on Wednesday for her next chemo treatment.

Remember with each chemo treatment Tanner's system is less able to take care of itself and the easier it is for her to catch or develop a life-threatening infection. It is also harder and harder for her body to recover from what chemo is does to the good cells and tissues. 

A special thanks to Kelly, a very special blood donor, for setting up a repeated appointment from the beginning to see that Her Sweetness would never run out of blood. And thanks to those of you that have stepped up to the plate and given the blood of life not only for Tanner but for all those that need your help so desperately. Thank you!!!!!!

Thursday, November 27th Thanksgiving Day!

and chemo round #9 of 14 treatments!!!!!

Monday, December 8, 2003 - Tanner went back into the hospital on Friday for a much needed blood transfusion. The transfusion didn't help so since Friday Tanner has had a total of 3 blood transfusions and also received platelets. Her body is having a real hard time of building its self back up even with all this help. Over the weekend she has continued to spike fevers and she has also contracted a virus. There is some good news, and for those of you that know Tanner you will understand; Tanner is in pretty good spirits with all things considered.

 Tanner's next scheduled round of chemo is Thursday, December 18th -  #10 of 14 treatments!!!!! But the way she has to fight at this point it is unlikely that her blood count will be ready for this next round of chemo.

Your help is greatly needed! 

It is now going to take 4 to 5 blood donations a month to keep Tanner with a supply that is going to get her though this. Since 1 person can only give every 6 weeks that is a considerable about of people that Tanner is counting on to help her get thought this.

Tanner did have a good Thanksgiving. Grammie, Papa, Mar, Auntie, Uncle Jeff, Zachary and Madison all brought Thanksgiving dinner to the hospital. Zachary had the best present of all "he had his head shaved and Tanner loved it. In fact she kept rubbing it all the time as they lay in bed watching a movie together. We all pulled up some room on the floor and had a great dinner. Then Marjorie, Auntie and Zachary made plates for other parents that were also spending the holiday in the hospital with their children.

Tanner also received a very special treat from Don Cuco's Restaurant. They treated the family to a private dinner and then gave Tanner a wonderful scooter. Boy did her face light up. A very special thank you to Don Cuco's for a wonderful day for Tanner. (pictures will be posted soon).

Friday, December 26, 2003 -

Tanner had a wonderful Christmas Holiday!

She had Christmas Carolers come to the house, Thanks to all the Sunday School children from church. What a great night!

Almost nightly it was out to see all the lights and one night it was a drive though "Follow the Star".

On December 23rd, a special treat! She got a special visit from Santa. Not one of his helpers from the malls or stores, but the real one and he gave her some wonderful treats. Magically bell came off his toy bag, just for Tanner. Mom pulled his beard and It Was REAL. Just wait till you see the pictures. When he asked what she wanted from Christmas, she gave him a real tall order "I want it to snow at my house so I can play in it." What is Santa going to do about that one?

We thought her blood counts were going to be pretty high with a few extra days but to everyone surprise they are pretty low, only 728, not high enough to go in for chemo on the 26th. On Friday the nurse will come over it give her another test and maybe on the 27th, we will see.

Christmas Eve started out with a lot of leg and arm pains and spending some extra time in bed with mom. Hope played with Grammie and had a wonderful morning. Later in the day things were much better and Grandma bought dinner and it was a wonderful evening.

December 25th, Christmas day - and what do you know? It did snow in Tanner's back yard! Yes, that is right. Thanks to Newhall Ice at 11am it started snowing in Tanner's back yard. So on went all the snow suites and out to play. It was raining like crazy, but thanks to the big tent they set up, nothing stopped the fun. Then it was inside to get warmed up and some inside fun. But later in the day it was still there and the snow suites had been dried so it was back out for some more fun. Be looking for pictures, it was so much fun.

Thanks to everyone that helped make this Christmas what it was. Your prayers are the most important gift of all.

 Tanner's next scheduled round of chemo is not exactly known. It will be decided on a daily basis. As soon as her blood count is high enough she will be going in for #10 of 14 treatments!!!!! We will let you know as soon as she is up to going back in. 

Thanks to all of our old and new friends that have been so generously giving of themselves.

But don't stop your help is greatly needed by all the children!